Surreal Estate II

Putting The "Mort" Back In "Mortgage"

Hankering for some real estate, but can't afford that high-rise condo? Stop looking up—look down, as in six-feet under. No, Más Kapital isn't encouraging you to make a premature departure—we've got too few readers as it is. Rather, we see a prime investment opportunity in cemetery plots.

1. The U.S. population is aging, with all those Baby Boomers now entering their 60s. And considering all the drugs they did in their youth, their bodies can't hold out that much longer. (Social Security may not fall short after all...)

 

2. Many cities are experiencing exponential growth in both population and development. Where are they going to find pristine property to ditch the deceased?

 

3. Prices are already high. A plot at the Hollywood Hills Forest Lawn starts at $1800. On the East Coast, a prime plot in Jersey starts at $4,500. And you want a tomb with a view? That's gonna cost you an arm and a leg.

 

4. Current occupants ain't going anywhere.

 

5. Sure there are alternatives, but you think the generation that gave us luxury SUV's will settle for burial at sea or internment in some high-rise mausoleum? Hell, no. They'll want soil and plenty of it, with a fat headstone, and a choice ZIP code as their permanent address.

So invest now in graveyard realty, even if you have no plans to use it anytime soon. You can always resell it on eBay's thriving cemetery plots market—just be sure to get cash up front... [$]